Wednesday, March 28, 2007

Wedding gifts

I got a request from Gone South about the social correctness of a bride requesting money directly as a gift. I got married 2 years ago so I have an opinion and it is fairly old fashioned because when I read the new style wedding sites most disagreed with me. In my opinion it is tacky to request anything directly for a wedding, it is the ‘job’ of the bridal party and parents to suggest where we were registered or what we may like. I don’t know how I grew this opinion, my parents and grandparents really never seemed to make a big deal about things like this, but in my head I firmly believe that a wedding is a celebration of the union and gifts are not required, any gift given is a statement by the giver that they approve of the couple’s choice and wish them well in life with XYZ item to help them or remind them of the wedding.

I also believe that one should register to help give guidelines of what the couple likes and would appreciate. I know brides that got mad because someone bought the same thing at a different store or a different brand thing. I think that is also tacky since a gift is a gift (see above). A lot of people like a registry for the inspiration, but, cash or a check is never a bad gift especially if the giver doesn’t like what is on the registry or there isn’t anything left. Leading me to my next strong opinion, what is a good wedding gift. I believe that a wedding gift should be a permanent thing, something that the couple can keep for years and think, “My aunt Pam gave us that” etc therefore electronics, consumables, clothing are not good wedding gifts. When money is flat out requested I feel like the couple is saying that the givers contribution will be purposely lumped with everyone else and that the couple does not care particularly. I’m sure that there are people who feel quite opposite and in preparation for my wedding I read the sites with all the different opinions and they didn’t change mine. I won’t fault someone for there choice, but, I feel a little bad when they have no memento from Great aunt Grace or their wedding.

I know some people strongly feel that money is the right gift to give and we appreciated every dollar, but bottom line is that I wouldn’t have asked for it directly and I grimace when I get an invitation that includes a request like that.


Janis Gore said...

Thanks for the response, Kate.

The gifts I've given recently have mainly been to friends' kids whom I don't know very well.

Both the Amazon certificates were to women who were registered out of town.

Salli Weston, said...

I agree with you. My response to cash only is to not want to give agift at all.

kitchen hand said...

I agree, Kate. It's not about the money, it's about the asking.